Gratitude

ok...so I just got back from eating at Sam St. Johns with my mom, and just really been wanting to express or share what has been on my mind lately. There has been sooo many great changes happen with the youth lately and just in my life, and some not so good. Well, lately i have just really been wanting and yearning to just have devotional time with God and set time aside for that every night, and i have. But, it’s not so easy. I pray every night that my spirit would be as passionate and on fire as it was during the times of frontline, and a few youth pastors ago. But, i feel God really showed up the other night through the words of someone, that has been such a true and faithful leader of the band.And i thank God for bringing that person into the youth, and into everyone of our lives. But, mainly for using them to really show us the way through your words, and pushing us, helping us to mature. Anyways, as we were in one of the rooms the other night getting ready to pray before service, i brought up a few subjects which really triggered the whole thing. And the response just blew me away. One was, so many of us get comfortable where we’re at and really don’t ever invite others, or leave that door open to be friendly and go and make as many disciples as we can. I don’t know if i’m quite saying this right, but we just get into a habit. But, i really feel like God was trying to speak to us and say, be open, go and make friends everywhere, be one big family, not just one that isolates themselves with a certain group. And the other was, just never to get comfortable where we’re at in our relationship with God. Also, that sometimes the things we think we fall in love with, are just the product of God and his awesome plans, and to always give all the glory to him!
So this leads me into A chapter of the bible, James 2:17:19 to be exact. I was just flipping through the bible one night, just trying to find a subject on, well... i don’t even remember now, but happened to stumble upon this chapter. And i can tell you it has become my favorite chapters in the bible so far.But it is talking about faith and deeds.it goes something like this,17"In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.18 But someone will say,"you have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.19 You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that-and shudder."(I love that part!) I just really like this verse because it tells it like it is! And i think most of the time thats what we need, to be told like it is. But yeah i mean basically its just saying don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk. And i know we’re not all perfect, and yes we sin, but that shouldn’t become our excuse! which brings me to James 1:12 "Blessed is the man who persevers under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
So yes, this does tie in with Sam St. Johns....I was just sitting there talking to my mom, and she was telling me how she just hasnt got to have time like this in a while, and that she just wants to make the best of it, while she can. I know i haven’t or don’t really like to talk about my moms condition, because its just not a subject that i like, but it really hit home with everything that God has put in my life. And i got to thinking, you know i wonder if i am going to see my mom in heaven. If she will be there waiting for me. And he just reassured me that i will. theres just days i get so frustrated and ask God why, why me? You know those questions....and you just feel like crying even when its something that you dont even know ur crying about, but that verse about persevering and trials made everything make since. Even the best of us go through them. And i know someday that out of this, something awesome will come out of it. But for now, just keep pressing on. No matter how hard it gets! To God be all the glory!

(April 7, 2008)